"Indonesia sucks," says native

In a recent interview with Budi Chang, a native of Jakarta, Indonesia, it has come to light that "Indonesia really sucks. Like, a lot."

Mr. Chang, pictured above, cites Dictator Chris "Hambone" Hamricks's "utter asshole-ness" and "being a total dick" as main reasons for finding Indonesia such a displeasing country.

Mr. Chang, who is a poppy farmer and ruthless drug lord, also adds that ever since Dictator Hambone (or "Asshole", as he is demeaningly referred to) came to power, more and more people have been fleeing to the beautiful country of Australia. As a result, Mr. Chang says, "not as many people want opium. This makes me angry." It looks like the Dictator had better watch out.

"Oh yes," says Mr. Chang. "He better." His face is devoid of emotion, but the handgun he's holding in one hand and the huge machete he's holding in the other makes us think that he's being serious.

(Long live Australia)